May, I continue…

MAY 1

Wholly fucking May already!! Need to slow down this week. Had Wednesday off, and don’t think I did anything important, which was fine. Think I need more down time or brain dump time, but I don’t want to give up on art time either because it’s been holding me together and giving myself the time to invest in myself!

“There’s an inner piece I own,

something in my soul 

that they cannot possess

so I won’t be afraid 

and the darkness will fade

because there’s a light in me

that shines brightly

…

precious love I’ll always have inside of me”

~Mariah Carey

MAY 4

Trying to embrace the mess of notes everywhere and not being able to always organize everything...

MAY 6

Just being my best self as my current state will allow. Letting rest and creativity have it’s time. Giving myself space to be vulnerable and be okay with my awkwardness. 

Listening to the rain outside.

to Charmbracelet

stretching my back tall and straight

letting myself breathe deep 

getting comfortable at the end of the day

letting go of what I don’t know or remember

tensing and relaxing my body to ease it into slumber

As I post this, just enjoying writing and sharing my thoughts of the day and seeing more of my progress as I step away and then come back to it. Not all of these posts may even make sense or strike any chords for anyone but me. But that’s why I wanted to do it. Because the chords I am finding and writing about are my experience and my creative every day struggles. I am trying to find what my true self is and how to include that in my artwork. And this is all part of it. 

It might make sense one day, but there’s no way to find out until I try and string the pieces of this mess together. 

On my best days, this is all oddly satisfying and makes me feel empowered and more confident.

On my worst days, I just feel like another amateur fumbling through vulnerability and publicly posting all of my awkwardness. Which probably isn’t really that bad anyway.

So thank you to those with me on this journey. It means so much to me.