Sarah’s Creative Journey

I have not taken some real time for myself in what seems a very long time.  I think that is why I have been in weird varied moods lately.  I feel trapped and not quite myself.   I am so thankful for my boyfriend and friends though.  Without them in the present, I would have never felt this way.  But what I really feel right now as I listen to nostalgic sonsgs, are thoughts of you.  I am so glad we are still friends and still get to hang out.  For some reason, all of these religion/family/friend/boy issues I can deal with now.  Not that I couldn't before, but I know that you will always be there for me when the quiet of night comes over me.  Right now, this is the small light that is keeping me here, relishing this small and calm moment.   It may be nostalgic, but I am crying out of happiness now.   Things will get better. You can never know when though.  It's a day-by-day process.  Some moments will be better...

I have not updated in the longest time. I really have not had much time or thought to. But I'm sure that will change soon. Also, today is a special day. Happy Birthday my friend! It has been about 15 years and I still love you just as much as before. :)

Actually I don't speak six languages, but that's beside the point. I have been talking about languages and whether or not Americans should learn Spanish due to the U.S. having a lot of Spanish-speaking peoples.   My opinion was that we shouldn't have to learn Spanish, but it would only be beneficial to us to learn it. Or to at least learn something to the point where we can either understand what is being said, and to communicate back to them in some way.  Besides, by not learning another language (it doesn't necessarily have to be Spanish), we are just leaving up that barrier between ourselves and other people.   I don't understand why we try so hard to understand people in the sociological or psychological sense, but why we are so lazy when it comes to learning another language.  Compared to the human brain, that is a simple barrier which can easily be overcome.  But yet we continue to just sit on our butt and let other people learn Englis...

The days go fast  and yet so slow.  Today  I found a brick wall.  Not one of the shorter ones.   One that I am stuck in the middle, just like everyone else.  I realized I need to get over it.  Like the quote says: "Brick walls aren't there to keep us out, But to show us how badly we want something.  It's facing that brick wall that is the scary part of it. .

Today was one of those days where you feel almost  invincible. You know everything in the world, and you suddenly become aware of all your surroundings. Though life ahead is scary, you find that one point where everything becomes comfortable.  There are those people who tell you the truth upfront, and even though it's painful,  it is also reassuring.  So here I am, at the end of the day, sitting tall, and feeling good about all the things I have  learned.

Here I am trying to get away from everything, and I find myself doing the exact same thing as if I would be staying: nothing. There seems to be so many things going on-both good and bad as always. More good than bad, but that doesn't mean I stop thinking about everything else.  I have felt the need to write something the past couple of days, so here I am writing, instead of being accomplished or sleeping for once in my life when everything is quiet. The problem is, the quiet also brings more thoughts, and more time for thoughts because they aren't meddled beneath the sound of chaos. Things are clean and not so bothersome. I only have me. Me and my thoughts. I've realized that I have become more tired and worn, only to things I once never seemed to care about, or even notice for that matter. When suddenly, I am on my own and realizing that sometimes those comments do hurt. What am I to do about them? I haven't really done anything about them my whole life. So...

Creativity vs. complete and utter failure.  That's what it seems like to me sometimes.  I learn something new, and wonder why I have never thought of doing something like that before.  Most of the time I just don't explore things.  I am a very much do what I am told kind of person.  So when am I going to start thinking for myself?  I know nothing that is going on really except what directly affects me. Why am I not breaking out of my shell for a chance for more? Why am I stuck in this similar bubble and not wanting out?  Is it the fear of total responsiblity and sensability?  Probably somewhat.   So I wake up every morning just restarting my day like all the others before.  I am stuck in this pattern and want out.  The trouble is I have a hard time doing that.   Though it really isn't the easiest thing in the world.  So I will stop sitting here letting the world pass me by.  I am moving forward at a stea...