To Start and Start Again

I don't know what to do.  I know what I want to do in life, but when I think about it, it gets to be more and more general and more broad.  I could be an artist, a freelancer, a creative leader.  I could make candy and get more into making desserts (baker, pastry, etc.) I could... 
I could do so many things, but I don't know how to get there.  
I don't know what to research.
I really just don't know what to do. 
So I do what I do best.
Avoid making decisions until they come to me. 

But then there are all my goals and dreams.  ...that I will have to pay for.  Literally.
I realized recently that I will not stand in a job long if they are treating me like crap.  And if I can't find a job that I enjoy and that treats me like a human being and a special employee that could help their company instead of just a robot to earn them more money, what do I have?

Well, I've been learning Italian... 
and reading for pleasure...
and planning a wedding...
AND

AND WHAT?  

I call myself an artist, but most of the time I don't feel like one.  I don't always draw every day.  I don't follow art communities very well.  And I am not very good at giving myself deadlines for projects.  

With this post/blog I want to start tracking what I do weekly (or biweekly or even not on a timeline at all).  This may just help me, but I hope to help others along the way (as well as learn from others)! 
Because there isn't a specific timeline of what to do to get somewhere.  There are many paths to take and I want to log how I get there.  I may not know where to start, but I am starting.  And I'm sharing it in hopes to find something.  I just don't know what. 

So go on, learn, fail fast, pick yourself up, and keep going.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxDwieKpawg

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