Sarah’s Creative Journey

This September I was hitting a good spot!  SEPTEMBER 14 Just really taking it in.   Creating for myself. But also opening up and sharing the love and all the things I want to say, to a small group of people. My people. The people who have helped me get as far as I have currently. The people that make me, me. Creating for them, from my heart.  Feeling the vibes and the warm loving feelings and memories that come with it. 

 Having art as almost a secret side passion because I talk about it so infrequently. I guess that is one reason I do art- to connect and talk to people in ways I can’t always bring myself to in person. (which is maybe why I tend to be a gift giver/quality time person for others). I also love the colors and getting lost in the PROCESS. The problem is that sometimes to sit down and start and do the process can be teeth pulling. Life or work tends to drain my activity-mental and physical - and I need to get past that. To really say this is what I WANT to do - which it is - at least in some way, what I have spent the last 5+ years trying to figure out. I guess in all ways - and in life - time will fluctuate. I have figured out a lot of things, just in the past year, and learning to deal with new things every year and new problems that come up.

  JUNE 6, 2021 How odd that I listen to a few 10 minute videos and find some huge relief! And something so simple!  Finished paintings are not the point of art! “The finished paintings are the BYPRODUCT of the PROCESS I get lost in.” Louise Fletcher Art is about the journey with yourself, to get in touch with what is lying inside.  It can improve your mental health and be necessary self-care. So in this past 30 minutes, I “made” 2 pieces because I was in it for the process and noticing what I love about painting! Crazy!  The more I love what I do and the process of art (and not expect an outcome every time), the better I will be, and the more my true self will be able to come out in my artwork. It doesn’t matter if I think the end result is good or bad. But how was the process of it?  JUNE 25, 2021 Once you learn to trust yourself, your inspiration, your habits, and your goals,  you’re able to trust your audience as well.  JUNE 26, 2021 Read some poems...

 MAY 11 Overwhelmed by moving time we think we get ahead only to look behind and see that everything has flown by Always catching up after we try to stay present Breathe now to run again later MAY 16 Have to frequently remind myself I cannot do everything I want to do or am curious about. I need to remind myself to take a breath, relax a bit, and focus my energy into ONE thing at a time, and slowly more things will happen and get accomplished. Plus, the time spent on art, focuses my mind and relaxes my body and soul. MAY 17 "Vulnerability has boundaries." -Brene Brown Let me repeat that. Vulnerability has boundaries! MAY 28 As an artist, having a go-to activity to describe and convey emotions and feelings and a way to open up and share myself with others is an amazing gift. A gift that is also terrifying.  When we make something, we have revealed something about ourselves.

MAY 1 Wholly fucking May already!! Need to slow down this week. Had Wednesday off, and don’t think I did anything important, which was fine. Think I need more down time or brain dump time, but I don’t want to give up on art time either because it’s been holding me together and giving myself the time to invest in myself! “There’s an inner piece I own, something in my soul  that they cannot possess so I won’t be afraid  and the darkness will fade because there’s a light in me that shines brightly … precious love I’ll always have inside of me” ~Mariah Carey MAY 4 Trying to embrace the mess of notes everywhere and not being able to always organize everything... MAY 6 Just being my best self as my current state will allow. Letting rest and creativity have it’s time. Giving myself space to be vulnerable and be okay with my awkwardness.  Listening to the rain outside. to Charmbracelet stretching my back tall and straight letting myself breathe deep  getting comfortable at t...

 APRIL 1, 2021 Art (and coffee, and religion, and etc. etc.) has practices and rituals You DO the verb first It’s none of your business if you call yourself an artist or not. You start doing the act, and then someone will call you an artist. “If you wait for someone to give you a job title before you do the work, you might never get the chance to do the work.” -Austin Kleon SHARED EXPERIENCES and friendship “Move slow and fix things” Austin Kleon about his books: “They come out of the urge to share. Not out of the urge to teach.” “The great thing about dead people is they can’t refuse you as a student.” What you need is to become a student.  Really being yourself _ costumes you can put on that help you become more of yourself. Taking all the pieces of yourself to bring it ALL together to make something unique. RuPaul and drag- “we’re all born naked and the rest is drag” APRIL 12, 2021 Buzzed connections sharing memories sipping cocktails and enjoying the campfire  Bo runs...

MARCH 9, 2021 Focusing on the/my physicality and my vulnerability being on the paper/canvas. Lifting up other women (artists or other creatives I look up to and find inspiration in) Using my love of color and high contrast. Falling in love again with the details and the emotional attachment that I have for the women in my life. Showcasing love and support I want to give.  Always wanting to give to the people closest to me, but then learning and wanting to stretch to the greater community that IS around me, and actually SEE them for who they are.  MARCH 22, 2021 Cause it’s all about  the feeling           movement       and focus of language What a different way  to write to connect to express all by  using                    negative space.... MARCH 31, 2021 Andy J Pizza wisdom: “A lot of us start making art to be well known, but as we make art, we find ourselves and we kno...

  March 3, 2021 “Days to years stand gone but when all else has been forgotten,  our song lives on but we have to know some bad times or our lives are incomplete how does our happiness endure love is beauty  love is pure how does a moment last forever when our song lives on” Just watched Howard, about Howard Ashman - lyricist of Little Shop, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, etc...[Even though those lyrics are written by Tim Rice...] Just feeling the immediate call to creativity and to use my time while it’s here. We never know when our time will be up and how can I just get out what’s truly inside? Coming into my 30’s where I have the confidence and gut to not always listen to people, and feel that I’m okay paving my own path. It will always be a struggle, but I have a solid foundation thanks to my privileges. I don’t want to throw away my shot.  Every year, I grow closer to fully understanding myself.  Letting my muse finally find me in action mor...

FEBRUARY 2, 2021 I love love! I love strong friendships that when someone dies-in books or movies- (sad dramatic story) that they’re mourning someone close to them. And I feel the love they had for each other, and THAT’s what I love. A friend that is there. And seeing how this person is affected so strongly after the friend dies.  Sounds morbid, but I guess I’ve just always been drawn to those deep connections. You open yourself up vulnerably and all that love is received and then returned. Which makes the bond incredibly close.  So how can I take my art there? What do I already have in my art that expresses those feelings?  FEBRUARY 3, 2021 Gah! Figures in lighting and how I can’t express how juicy and exciting it is to draw. To move my pencil or piece of charcoal along the flow and energy of bodies. When you light it to really emphasize the strength or movement, it just dances in front of me, teasing. Which is probably why I love theatre (one reason anyway) so much. The...

Whew. What a journey. We’ve all been going through so many changes recently, and I feel grateful to want to share these tidbits of the journey I am on. I have been writing for myself more lately, but just like my art, I feel the need to just put it out there eventually. Those who find and read this will be looking for it. And if you finish reading what I am sharing, then hopefully I can pass along some (at the very least) inspiration to you. Maybe you will find something helpful in reading about my struggles and the sparks of muse that flow through my fingers.  Here is to not just a new year, but to new confidence and charisma that a third decade can bring.  JANUARY thoughts: JANUARY 5, 2021 It’s amazing to watch interviews and think, “holy shit these people (often celebrities) have done a little bit of everything! But then I realize that thought is a bit of a high standard. I think because they are famous, they are offered a lot more one-off opportunities to do different thin...

  https://austinkleon.com/2020/09/09/15-years-of-blogging-and-3-reasons-to-keep-going/ Well!  It feels so long ago that I've written, even though it hasn't even been 6 months.  So many events have happened this summer and this year alone, that while I think I've been creating more and doing daily creative things, I have put some things to the side. Though that is not necessarily a bad thing.  While this year has been particularly long and painful, I have dug into learning. Learning about white supremacy and racism. Relearning history. Learning even more about myself and my surroundings. Just recently has blogging gained my attention again. One, because of this new art project I've been figuring out. Two, because of Austin Kleon (hence the link above).  The new art project involves more research on my part because I want to call attention to these people for specific reasons. I want to take what I have learned in the past few months and share it with others. Art ...

Since I am about to turn thirty and head into a new decade, it’s brought about quite a bit of reflection. I’ve just finished reading Todd Henry’s, Louder Than Words , which hit more points than previous self help books. It might have just been my timing of reading it since I’m in a bigger (or seems to be bigger) transition period, where I have accomplished quite a bit with my art, but also feel a bit stagnant. It’s been slow moving the past few years, but I haven’t stopped creating . I have just absorbed a lot and needed to figure out what kind of artist I am and what kind of artist I want to be. What I have learned about myself since college: I’ve been fighting myself on previous ideas of what or who an artist is. I’ve always told myself I don’t want to be all consumed by art. That I won’t be able to do all of the other things I want to pursue if I dedicated that much time into being an artist professionally. I have been both afraid and maybe misled about artist’s life...